3 weeks in and FINALLY getting the hang of this "mom" thing. Realizing I may just need to try to make these postings a bit more daily and try to keep people more up to date.
-REWIND-
Back to Sept. 10, 2010, 7 am I had an ultrasound done at the hospital because my dr had estimated that the baby was too big for me to handle and I had NST that day anyway. The ultrasound tech estimated baby Kaiden at 9+ lbs. and told me that they would probably keep me and want to do a cesarean [HELL NO!] Not that I have anything against c-secs but I personally would like to not have a scalpel plunged into my already stretched marked skin to create yet, another "personality mark" to my body. I don't care if people believe it will create "character". Anyhow, so he was estimated at being a big baby and I was told my amniotic fluid level was low and to tell the nurses up in L&D the same.
8am- I'm doing NST for maybe 10-15 minutes before the dr walks in with my file and says "Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and keep you." So, after having my fiance call in the troops and sitting in the room for awhile with him, my mom finally shows up. This all happening AFTER the dr's keep trying desperately to talk me into a c-section.
12:30pm- Im being induced and labor isnt progressing but the good news is, I'll be able to eat soon. By this point, I am inevitably starving and luckily, my "sister" shows up to leave with my mom to go get me food and by the time they get back at about 3 I am able to scarf down a whole cheeseburger, fries & a sprite from Wendy's with the most blissful satisfaction I think I will EVER get from eating fast food.
Hours later, my labor still wasn't progressing so they decided to induce me with this stuff called Pitocin.
Let me tell you people, I am the strong-willed, independant woman who was striving for a totally painkiller free labor and delivery. It was not in the cards because you see a very very evil person invented pitocin. So, I opted to get the epidural. This was by far one of the strangest feelings I have ever experienced, like being shot up with novacaine from the waist down and becoming a puppet. But, it wore off and the next morning I was able to feel my legs again.
By now I was looking at extreme contractions, irritability, sleep deprivation from the drug and having to deal with the effin' stupid student physician that I had specifically asked to be kept out of my room. Apparently, no such luck. Anyhow, long story short after dealing with god knows how much time that went by I knew I was ready to have this baby, SO READY but according to the SP I didn't know what I was talking about because "the average rate of dilation is 1.2 cm an hour and the last time we checked you, you were at 6cm, so we're not gonna check you for another hour." I was LIVID and asked the nurse the next time she came in to check me and sure enough in a 45-min period I went from 6cm to 9 and 3/4cm and they were gettin me ready. The rest is pretty much a blur of pain, screaming, attempting to stare at the one pink flower painted on the ceiling, my mom helping me breathe, feeling the most ultimate release of my son coming out and hearing him cry for the first time. [Which was beautiful]
Now, my baby boy that was born Sept.11 at 2:34pm 8lbs. 1oz. 19.4inches long is almost 3 weeks old and I cannot believe that it's already been THAT long since the ordeal I went through above.
Still, though, I look at him sleeping next to me and he could not look more perfect.
He looks just like me. :)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
~Rant~ Day #275
Well all, the good news is? I'm still pregnant and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my son that should happen within the next 5 days. But, probably won't.
I have been experiencing the usual fluctuating mood swings and hormonal imbalances that every mom-to-be experiences but in some small way I feel I'm experiencing all of these on a much higher scale than that of most new moms-to-be. (and I'm pretty positive that I'm not the only one who has ever felt like this)
My poor fiance D, for example has been on the receiving end of EVERYTHING, every spontaneous bout of bawling my eyes out after seeing a Values.com commercial, to every swear word that spews from my mouth as I'm throwing things across the room for absolutely no reason. For awhile it was like my irritability and agitation had no name, rhyme or reason. That is, until it came to my attention that there are just some people in this world that will never fail to agitate me whether I'm pregnant or not.
Take the husband of my fiance's mom, for example, we'll call him Douchebag, or Loserface, or "Arrogant Ignorant Little Prick that I will constantly loathe the existence of". Whatever you feel free to relate him as.
This flippin' guy is someone we ALL know. He's the guy who will not only cut you off on the freeway exit ramp, but cut you off in the Starbucks parking lot and then proceed to stand in front of you taking his sweet ass time arguing with the barista over how many pumps of sweetener go into a carmel macchiato for 15 minutes only to end up ordering a regular grande coffee and insulting the poor barista for attempting to help this rat bastard.
He is the man we all know that obviously suffers from some "I wasn't loved enough in the past" complex and never had any control over his life. Not because he wasn't given it, but because he lacks the cajones and spine to really think about what matters most. No, he is the man who will nit-pick nearly everything we do, make crappy career moves, continue to complain about his life and how unsatisified he is in spite of the 20-some odd year mid-life crisis he puts himself through and hold himself up to a higher standard than what most people will hold him too.
Here's the really special part though. Double-standards are his thing. He gets off on arguments he's already lost and makes very failed attempts to make anyone else look guilty for his own shortcomings. In short? He's an idiot.
Now my problem with him? I want to be the bigger person and say there is none.
However, when I am ENGAGED and the MOTHER of your wife's son and grandson, you better freakin' understand that you CANNOT and SHOULD NOT make false assumptions about my vida, mi familia, and how I do things. Especially when you haven't even taken the time to get to know me. This Douchebag, has no idea where I come from, what I've been through, and what I've done to get myself where I am today and he has the audacity to bring MY name up and insult me during an argument with his wife that he had clearly already lost and then, when confronted he fails to not only apologize but even face the confrontation!
Frankly, I am personally embarassed and ashamed for him and would love nothing more than to never see his face again. But, until my son is born I will grit my teeth and bear it, and then limit my seeing him to holidays and emergency situations only.
I have been experiencing the usual fluctuating mood swings and hormonal imbalances that every mom-to-be experiences but in some small way I feel I'm experiencing all of these on a much higher scale than that of most new moms-to-be. (and I'm pretty positive that I'm not the only one who has ever felt like this)
My poor fiance D, for example has been on the receiving end of EVERYTHING, every spontaneous bout of bawling my eyes out after seeing a Values.com commercial, to every swear word that spews from my mouth as I'm throwing things across the room for absolutely no reason. For awhile it was like my irritability and agitation had no name, rhyme or reason. That is, until it came to my attention that there are just some people in this world that will never fail to agitate me whether I'm pregnant or not.
Take the husband of my fiance's mom, for example, we'll call him Douchebag, or Loserface, or "Arrogant Ignorant Little Prick that I will constantly loathe the existence of". Whatever you feel free to relate him as.
This flippin' guy is someone we ALL know. He's the guy who will not only cut you off on the freeway exit ramp, but cut you off in the Starbucks parking lot and then proceed to stand in front of you taking his sweet ass time arguing with the barista over how many pumps of sweetener go into a carmel macchiato for 15 minutes only to end up ordering a regular grande coffee and insulting the poor barista for attempting to help this rat bastard.
He is the man we all know that obviously suffers from some "I wasn't loved enough in the past" complex and never had any control over his life. Not because he wasn't given it, but because he lacks the cajones and spine to really think about what matters most. No, he is the man who will nit-pick nearly everything we do, make crappy career moves, continue to complain about his life and how unsatisified he is in spite of the 20-some odd year mid-life crisis he puts himself through and hold himself up to a higher standard than what most people will hold him too.
Here's the really special part though. Double-standards are his thing. He gets off on arguments he's already lost and makes very failed attempts to make anyone else look guilty for his own shortcomings. In short? He's an idiot.
Now my problem with him? I want to be the bigger person and say there is none.
However, when I am ENGAGED and the MOTHER of your wife's son and grandson, you better freakin' understand that you CANNOT and SHOULD NOT make false assumptions about my vida, mi familia, and how I do things. Especially when you haven't even taken the time to get to know me. This Douchebag, has no idea where I come from, what I've been through, and what I've done to get myself where I am today and he has the audacity to bring MY name up and insult me during an argument with his wife that he had clearly already lost and then, when confronted he fails to not only apologize but even face the confrontation!
Frankly, I am personally embarassed and ashamed for him and would love nothing more than to never see his face again. But, until my son is born I will grit my teeth and bear it, and then limit my seeing him to holidays and emergency situations only.
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